


Death is like the – Oh, fuck off

by ButterflyPrincess



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Talon is killing people for money, offensive language and stuff, shitty references, weird psycho flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 11:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5495285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyPrincess/pseuds/ButterflyPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Talon is about to kill his next victim for a bunch of money but Yasuo is a being a jerk and interrupts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death is like the – Oh, fuck off

Death is like the – Oh, fuck off

 

It was a hella normal Friday night, you know? When people go out partying, drinking until they pass out, sometimes they even die because of their own stupid attitude towards alcohol or drugs or whatever shit was being passed around at the moment.

 

It was stupid in Talon's opinion, to be honest, but it helps him in his... profession. Which had something to do with investigating people, watching them getting wasted, then sneaking up to them and eventually... you know... killing them. Of course only for cash. Otherwise it would be entirely senseless. It had long became a usual thing. Cutting people's throats, watching them coughing out their last breath and then just disappearing into the safe darkness of the night.

 

However, at least to Talon, it wasn't fun. It wasn't the way anyone would've wanted to spend their Friday nights except if they were true psychos. He wasn't one. He just needed the money to survive without the family he ran away from because they were the _real fucking psychos._ Guess whom he had learned killing from. They were like a squad of ruthless murderers. And he had joined them without a question.

 

Maybe it was due to the fact that his adoptive sister Katarina had looked so adorable when she and her father found him somewhere in the streets giving him concerned looks until they had just adopted him. They had looked at him in such a caring, worried manner that he didn't even have to think twice about going along with them. Especially since his choices had been very limited. Katarina had always been a beauty even barely at the age of thirteen. So maybe he hadn't been all that shocked when he found out about his family's “business” because he had been blinded by the nice smiles and the silly jokes and that image of a family he had never had the privilege being a part of.

 

He wasn't any better of course. Okay, in some way maybe. He was killing for the money without any enjoyment. But it didn't really bother him, either. So maybe he was just as heartless as the Du Couteaus... Just maybe.

 

He took a deep breath, locating his victim for today, deciding to leave the musing to some point in the future, some evening alone in a bar with only the barkeeper for company. He spotted him - a man, relatively small but with impressive muscles, a mustache, dark hair, usually with an expensive cigar in hand (or mouth). He was without any weapon, so he'd be an easy target. Also, he'd get tons of money for his life. Around 10,000 Gold when he got it right. So, he'd just get it over with, get the money and-

 

“Death is like the wind, always– ”

 

“I'm gonna stop you right there”, Talon snapped when he felt a breeze on his neck, biting cold and almost feeling alive. Wind in the shape of a sword. He was very familiar with the Konfuzius Junior who was holding it.

 

“Well... I honestly don't think you're in the position to bitch around like that, you little fuck”, the man, Yasuo, while he could watch his target walk away. Great... Goodbye, bounty.

 

“I'd rather have my ass fucked than you calling be a bitch”, he spit, not caring about the blade at his throat. Yasuo wouldn't kill him, he was just enjoying to fuck him up a bit, ruining some of his plans and in the end it almost always ended up it some kind of weird psycho flirting. They got to this point exceptionally quickly this time, though.

 

“Well, I guess I could arrange that”, Yasuo replied stoically, his sword still unmoving against the back of Talon's neck.

 

“Gross, dude, gross. Guess I'd prefer dying actually.”

 

“Mean. Dying is the easy part, though.” “Oh, fuck off with your cheap catchphrases. And now would you bother either taking this blade away from my throat or just cutting it? I hate when you make it this dramatic.”

 

“Well... I actually find it quite nice. Having you here, unable to move because otherwise you'd die... It's cute in a way.”

 

“Wow, what a romantic. What's next? You gonna invite me to some Valentine's dinner including me bound to a kitchen chair or what're you up to?”

 

“Nice idea actually, but isn't Valentine's Day a bit far away in time?” His lips travelled to Talon's left ear. He shivered. “How about some _fun_ tonight. Right now, maybe not right here. Guess you'd like it.”

 

“How about _getting the fuck off?!_ ”, Talon yelled, then bumped his elbow right in the other man's guts causing his sword to fall to the ground. He took it, knocked Yasuo right back on the could street and pointed at his chest with the edge of the blade. “So perv, what do you think about dying? Like... right here, right now and shit. Would be _lovely_ watching you bleed out. Kinda... sexy maybe.”

 

“Oh, please, now you're the perv here. Someone can't even make jokes with you without you going straight up berserk.”

 

“Ah, so you were joking? Well, my fault I suppose for not noticing that with A FUCKING BLADE AT MY THROAT!” He let the sword slip a bit giving the other man the little cut near his collar bone. Yasuo hissed. _Overdramatic, this can't even hurt._

 

“Fucker”, Yasuo breathed, then took up his right hand just slapping the sword out of Talon's hands. It worked. They went silent in this moment when he took it back into his hand. Suddenly both equally armoured, somewhat ready to fight. It was not supposed to be that way. Usually it was either Yasuo just fucking up Talon or vice versa, they'd never gone this far. Nor did they really want to.

 

“Uhm... guess we're even now”, Talon mumbled, the intensity of the situation having deflated into an awkward silence.

And just when Yasuo was about to nod slowly, the assassin froze. “No”, he started, “No, no, no... You don't get away like that... You ruined my deal! This lil shit just ran away being worth like 10,000 Gold just because you found this shit funny!”

 

“Wow... calm down. Alright, let's go to the next hotel and talk this out.”

 

“If this is just a cheap way to get me into fucking with you, then I swear to the God I've never believed in I'll kill you. I have a blade and I'm not afraid to use it.” At this point he wasn't even really angry or something. Just annoyed to death because now he had to spend even more time with this jerk and it was basically his own fault.

 

“You're certainly not. Don't worry, I've never been into rape, I prefer a swift death, you know?”

  
“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

 

*^*

 

There they were. In front of some cheap hotel far away from the high traffic streets. “Don't you think it would be smart to... you know... _hide our fucking weapons?_ ” Talon complied, rather unwillingly, hiding his blades inside his coat.

 

 

They went in, straight to the reception with a middle aged woman positioned there looking like she would fall asleep every moment. However, she tried to fake a smile and act as if she was happy. At least she tried.

 

“Welcome, gentlemen. A room for two?” “Guess so.” She nodded, looking at the two of them suspiciously, but she just did her job. “Room 317, two beds, TV, bathroom, breakfast between eight and eleven, any questions?” She still tried to sound friendly, but continued to fail.

 

“Why do we even have to take a room? I have place to sleep, I guess you have one, too and you just wanted to negotiate, so what's the point?” “Just in case you change your mind”, Yasuo sing-sang and Talon just felt the strong urge to simply kill the man.

 

“Let's just head to the bar, get our free drinks and talk this shit out, I still have to crawl at my client and tell him I failed, so I don't exactly have all time in the world.” And so they headed to the bar.

 

 

 

“So how do you plan on making up for my loss today?”

 

Yasuo waved at the waiter, handed him 1000 Gold telling him “Whenever one of us has nothing to drink, fill up.” Talon looked at him in shock. “You did not just do that.” He was ignored.

 

“Well... I simply have the... budget to pay you. That's all. And now I'm paying you as many drinks as you wish.. It's that easy.”

 

Talon looked at him in confusion. “Are you fucking kidding me? It's never that easy! …I know it. You wanna fuck me and pay me for that like I'm a lil slut, don't you? Oh, no, in this case I'm fucking out! Fuck you and your money!”

 

“Wow, someone's triggered I guess. I won't pay you for a fuck, unless you want it like that. No, I just... I like you and fucked over your income tonight, so I have to repay you and now have a drink.” He was still startled, insecure and uncertain how this was going to end, but he took the drink anyway. And every single one that followed.

 

.

.

.

 

“So you... like me?” – “ Yup.” – “Why?” – “I dunno. I just do.”

 

.

.

.

 

“I like your scarf to be honest, where'd you get it?” – “A gift from my sister.”

 

.

.

.

 

Slightly drunken laughter. “So, do you like me or _like like_ me?” – “Why do even ask? I don't really know ya.” – “Dunno.”

 

.

.

.

 

“Wait... are you even gay or some shit?” – “Hm... I fuck guys, I find guys hot, I don't give a shit about girls... Guess you could say so.” Drunken laughter. “Same.”

 

.

.

.

 

“Were you serious about me being bound to a kitchen chair?” – “You suggested that.” – “Oh.”

 

.

.

.

 

Well, the rest of the evening is history. And Talon denied that any of the events ever happened.

 

Because he totally didn't take the money from Yasuo.

 

He also absolutely didn't enjoy the more and more drunken talk with him.

 

He was not interested in him in any way.

 

And of fucking course they didn't do anything... intimate that night. Like... totally not. He would never even consider this.

 

Ah, denial was a wonderful thing.


End file.
